I have good news!
So…I’m pregnant.
As weird as it is to say (and WAY weirder to feel) I am going to be a mom in less than 35 weeks. Today I am officially 5 weeks pregnant.
It’s strange, you know, to feel this change in your body…but it’s almost instantaneous. I knew immediately. I felt the change immediately. Some people might not believe that…but in the back of my head, in my dreams, and even in some of my body’s decisions (like saying “no thanks” to vodka, even though I had no real reason not to want to drink)…I knew all along.
So Sheryn asked me like 50000 questions about it, and I’m going to answer them:
Tell me everything about Matt…
Ok, so Matt is a wonderful guy who has a load of potential and loves me more than you could imagine a man loving a woman. We are mutually fantastic to each other. We live together in an apartment in inner-Houston and love every minute of it. He works for the same company as I do…I’m not sure what else you want to know!! Haha! He was born on Dec 8, 1986. He loves baseball, bowling and me. Every night before we go to bed he lays his head on my stomach and tells the ‘baby’ a story. The first night it was about hunting a deer…the second it was the story of how he met me…and it changes every night. He always rubs lotion on my back and stomach before we go to bed (to help with stretch marks) and he always makes sure I have everything that I need. He is amazing to me & he’s going to be an even better father!
Tell me how you found out you were pregnant:
Besides the obvious…About two weeks ago I noticed that I was gaining weight (even though I wasn’t really eating a lot) and my chest has grown probably a full size at this point…so I thought “maybe I AM pregnant.” I mentioned it to Matt and we talked about what we would do and how we would handle it. It was too early to test, so we just had to wait. I didn’t change my lifestyle at this point (I still smoked cigarettes) but I subconciously slowed down on smoking and made myself not like the taste (my body was telling me something was up!!) So on Sept 6th my sister and I went to Walmart with Matt and I bought a test…I got home and took it and waited (the longest 2 minutes of my life) and when I looked down the test faintly had TWO pink lines!!! I was scared and didn’t believe it, so i went into the living room (Matt was vacuuming) and told him and he just looked at me and smiled. (Which, by the way, was the wrong thing to do!) I started bawling saying that I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know what I was going to do…he just hugged me and said “I love you and we’re going to make this work.” So Tuesday, the 9th, I went to the OB-GYN and she said “You’re barely pregnant, but congratulations…you ARE pregnant.”
How you reacted:
I kind of answered that above…You know, I’m actually taking it quite well. Way better than I thought I was going to. I am responsible for the decisions that I make, and even though this was totally unexpected, I am ready to support myself and my (OMG!) family through the entire thing. I immediately quit smoking when I saw the two lines and I don’t even feel the urge right now. Your body is an amazing thing. I don’t crave the nicotine, or even want it. I never even thought twice. I have given up a lot to make sure my body is healthy, but at the end of the day it comes down to realizing that it is no longer MY body…it’s the body that is holding an unborn child. I don’t drink caffeine, I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t smoke…I eat healthy (I haven’t eaten fast food!) and I take better care of my body than I ever have before.
How Matt reacted:
At first Matt couldn’t stop smiling. He says that’s just because everytime he looks at me he smiles, but I think deep down he was really happy! Haha. Now, he’s even more excited than he was the first moment he found out. He’s been there every step of the way and he told me that he is going to marry me and it’s not just because of the baby. He went with me to the doctor and held my hand the whole time. He caters to my needs…if I’m thirsty he gets me a drink. He rubs my back when it hurts, and he understands when my emotions get the best of me. (And they do!). We picked out names and everything, he’s ready for this…even if he doesn’t know it yet.
How your family reacted:
Here’s the scary part…We haven’t told them yet. We’re going to tell them this weekend, so I’ll have to tell you when I get news on this!
How long ago did you find out?
I knew two weeks ago. I was re-assured on Saturday. I knew for sure on Tuesday.
You live with Matt now right?
Yes!
What does Kevin/Neil think about all this?
Kevin said “Congrats!” and he was kind of excited. I told Neil over facebook…I’ll see if he’s responded yet. Oh my! Neil said:
“Good for you, Im happy for you, how far gone are you?
Thats great news. If only it were me that were the father, lol. But cant think that way, friendship is still there but I was getting stressed seeing you move on, especially so fast and the pic on your profile did my head in. So I thought, hey, I need to move past it all and it seemed the best thing for me (re deleting you as a friend).
Supprising but not supprising how things are for you know, especially as from what you were telling me not long ago seem so the opposit of what they are now. But I Allways knew you would work out like this, I allways knew. Next comes the marriage and who knows what else. Aslong as your happy and in love I guess what else matters…”
So I guess he’s happy for me. I think he is just saying that…I think he’s still hurt, but you know, we both had to move on. Don’t get me wrong…I love him to death…but I have a family now and I have to think about that.
When will you find out if it’s a boy or a girl?
December 22nd. My early Christmas present from the doctor! :o) I already know the sex of the baby though…maternal instincts, i guess. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a boy! (50/50 chance!)
What did work say?
Haven’t told them yet. I want to make it safely through the first trimester before I tell my work. I don’t want to tell them and then have something tragic happen. It would be too much for me to handle, I think. Although, everyone has been asking me that lately (not sure why) and I have to deny it. I wish I could tell everyone, but I want to be on the safe side instead of telling everyone and having to go backwards and tell everyone what happened…does that make sense? I have to hope for my bosses sympathy because she’s already asked me twice and I told her No…maybe she will understand though!
Did Matt propose? How?
Matt hasn’t proposed yet! We want to tell the families about the pregnancy first…for obvious reasons. I think he feels like if he asks my dad for permission NOW and THEN tell them about the baby, my father my feel betrayed. So we are waiting until after we get the families together and talk to them about it before we move on.
The wedding is planned (as of right now) for March 21st though. We are looking at a beach wedding in South Padre or possibly Galveston. I’ll be about 7 months along at that point, so I’m sure I’ll be as big as a balloon…but Matt wants to be able to tell the baby “look, that’s you! You were there!” So, that’s what we’re going to do. Plus, any earlier would be too soon, and any later would be too hard.
How you’re feeling:
I guess that’s about it for right now. If you want to know more, I’d be happy to write! I love telling about the things I’m going through, and I’m learning more about myself, my relationship with Matt and my relationship with myself every day. It’s a learning process and it is a miracle.
All in all I want to say that I am really excited and looking forward to the next steps in pregnancy. I haven’t had any morning sickness yet (thank god) and I haven’t gained too much weight. I’ve put on about 4 lbs since August 1st, but that’s normal because my body fat % was so low. I have to remember every morning that I’m not eating because I want to, I’m eating because I have to. I have to eat a lot more frequently, but I eat a lot smaller meals. Yesterday I could only stomach 1/2 a poptart before I felt full. It’s a total change in your body and body chemistry…but it feels great.
What you crave
I haven’t really had any strange cravings yet…except that I’ve been wanting a lot of Salty foods (which I’m not really a salt loving person) so that’s different. I use to eat loads of sweets and I don’t anymore. My family has a history of anemia during pregnancy, which could be my body’s sign that I need to watch what I’m eating so that I don’t hurt my body. I, of course, still love pickles. I eat them constantly. I even have a jar at my desk! I’ve been wanting weird things like salad and sauteed onions a lot more lately too (considering I’m not a big fan of lettuce and I HATE onions, it’s definitely a change).
Weird changes you see:
You know, the only weird change so far is my cup size and my hips. I have (finally) gotten bigger hips and a bigger chest. Other than that, nothing has changed. I feel different emotionally, mentally and physically; but on the outside I still look like the same person you knew!
